When Your Adult Child Goes Silent

I am a certified coach, certified mediator, and counselor. I help estranged parents find solid ground. I also wrote the book on it.

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Desi Najera Jr

Desi Najera, Jr.

I did not write this book from a textbook. I wrote it from my living room. I was married for almost 30 years. I went through a divorce. I lost my relationship with my adult children. I have walked the painful road of reconciliation and I am still on it. I also lost both of my parents during this season. Everything I coach comes from what I have lived.

Certified Coach Certified Mediator Certified Counselor M.Ed. Published Author
When Your Adult Child Goes Silent

10 Rules for Estranged Parents & Grandparents

These ten rules came from my work as a mediator, coach, and my own kitchen table.

They are what I wish someone had told me on the worst nights of my life.

81% of estrangements between mothers and children eventually end. This is probably not forever. But what you do during the silence shapes what is possible when the silence breaks.

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Paperback $15.99 — Ebook $9.99

"WHO ARE YOU?? This advice is magnificent. I had to do exactly every single step to heal, calm down, and move on." — Reader, online community

What you will learn

Each rule addresses one of the most common mistakes estranged parents make. Together they form a framework for dignity, patience, and repair.

1 Stop Asking Why
2 Do Not Plead
3 Drop the Disrespect Speech
4 Stop the Guilt Trip
5 Own What Is Yours
6 Do Not Recruit Allies
7 Do Not Use the Grandchildren
8 Prepare for the Long Game
9 Keep One Door Cracked
10 Decide What You Are Building

Three ways to work with me

Whether you need 24/7 support, a community of people who understand, or direct coaching, there is a way in.

AI
AI Estrangement Coach
A coaching partner trained on the 10 Rules. Available anytime you need it. Day or night.
$9/month
Start Now
G
Live Group Session
Small group coaching with Desi. A safe space to work through this with other parents who get it.
$37.99
Join a Session
1:1
Private Coaching
One on one coaching for parents who want direct, personal support through the hardest season.
By inquiry
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The Estrangement Emergency Kit

The printable 10 Rules checklist, a 5-minute guided meditation, and 5 questions to ask yourself before you send any message to your child. Free. No spam.

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"I have been reading your comments and I have to admit, it's grounding me. Which is good. I'm a little chaotic with this whole thing."
— Estranged mother, 1 year no contact
"This is very precious. Thank you."
— Estranged mother, online community
"WHO ARE YOU?? This advice is magnificent. I had to do exactly every single step to heal, calm down, and move on."
— Estranged parent, Facebook group